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4 Jewels to Consider

Feedback About Thinking Before You Speak

How the wisdom and insight of others is the ‘Breakfast of Champions.’

If you are not familiar with Patrick Lencioni, check out his books. He is a great teacher on leadership subjects. I quote him in the lead text of this blog post.

Two weeks ago I asked for feedback to help me with not reacting so fast with my responses to people. And I also promised I would share some of your ideas. I won’t share everything I got, but it was all good. I hope these thoughts help you as much as they did me.

Years ago in Graduate school, I developed a passion to avoid tired, easy, colloquial words while communicating. I resolved to quickly research a more surgical word in place of an everyday word, especially in my writing, whenever possible. 30 years on, this has been fun and served me well. It has evolved into a filtering process, often in milliseconds, where I not only search for the right word, but also a quick check on what I'm about to say. It has translated quite well, usually, to my verbal communications in addition to my written ones.... to my surprise.

Am I great at it ?  No.  But not bad.

Having said that, this business of sometimes casting a shadow on someone ... then regretting it as you did - still something to be worked on.

Like you, I envy those who are able to remain reserved, yet I like to be an open person, so there is a tension there.


On balance, obviously, you're doing fine, and I guess I'm doing fine too ...Bob, this is a hard one!  I try to be a good listener, but alas, I get caught up in responding too quickly. 

This is my struggle, to listen and thoughtfully reply. 


I have always been a blurt it out guy like you but on the Podcast I have been doing, It has taught me to be a better listener and I am trying to live by this thought in my interaction with people. "Hear their whole story." As affirmed by most interactions with Jesus in the Bible, He listened to their whole story as he met people (woman at the well, woman caught in adultery, Nicodemus and so on). Take time to hear the whole story. It's a work in progress for me.


I clearly identify with “speaking too quickly” 

Two things have helped ( a little)

1. WAIT -stands for- asking myself “ Why Am I Talking”?

2. Memorizing Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesions 4:29)

Here is a short reply and I’m not trying to be self-serving.   


These are just four jewels among those I received. Each had a great spirit of humility and teachability. I hope they help. Watch for my next edition. I take a deeper dive into WAIT!

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Bob Lonac

About Bob Lonac

Today, friends call me a leader of leaders. But this wasn’t always the case.

During my life of working in faith-based, Christ-centered ministry, relationships have proved to be the common thread. My passion is helping other people grow through one-on-one mentoring and small group training. I love building teams. I love seeing people and organizations succeed. You can read more about my story and what I'm doing now.

I am still learning a lot and it would be fantastic to share this journey with you! If you haven’t yet, sign up for my email newsletter so we can stay connected.